Boars, Gore, and Swords

Chapters covered this episode by Ivan and Red occur between pp 480-522 (Eddard, Daenerys, Eddard, Jon). We revisit Ned's dream AGAIN, *something* happens to Robert from groin to nipple, Daenerys has a midnight snack, Viserys gets what was promised, and Jon gets the shaft. Next week we cover pp 523-567 (Eddard, Arya, Sansa, Jon).

Direct download: 2011-12-26_BGaS_Episode_25.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:37pm EDT

Kevin O'Shea (on twitter at @iamkevinoshea) joins Ivan and Red cover pp 431-479 (Catelyn, Jon, Tyrion, Eddard, Sansa). We revisit Ned's dream sequence at the behest of our listeners, Tyrion's trial by combat, religious overtones, Jon saving Tarley, Eddard sitting on a throne, and Sansa reading Tiger Beat. Next week we cover pp 480-522 (Eddard, Daenerys, Eddard, Jon).

Direct download: 2011-12-19_BGaS_Episode_24.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

Ivan and Red are joined by friend of the show Kelly Anneken in covering pp 385-430 (Daenerys, Bran, Tyrion, and Eddard). We cover six-breasted statues, John Carter, sweeping stables with 10,000 brooms, A People's History of Westeros, Eskimo Bloodriders, anachronistic sluts, the Dothraki General Sherman, The Smoking Pole and much more. Listening to this podcast is an implicit contractual agreement to any and all business ideas expressed herein(jk). Next week we cover pp 431-479 (Catelyn, Jon, Tyrion, Eddard, Sansa)

Direct download: 2011-12-12_BGaS_Episode_23.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:35pm EDT

Ivan and Red cover pp 338-384 (Arya, Eddard, Catelyn, and Eddard). Arya kisses some cats, Myrcella and Tommen are pugs, Barristan Selmy is agreeable, The Faceless Men charge a fortune, Catelyn CLIMBS AND CLIMBS AND CLIMBS, and Eddard sees some guards about a horse. Next week we cover pp 385-430 (Daenerys, Bran, Tyrion, and Eddard).

Direct download: 2011-12-05_BGaS_Episode_22.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:44pm EDT

Ivan and Red cover pp 293-337 (Sansa, Eddard, & Tyrion). Sansa is struck dumb by a plethora of things, Petyr is creepy, Eddard and Varys talk shop, Ivan and Red discuss Stand-up comedy the role-playing game, and Tyrio- HOLY SHIT WHY DOES HE HAVE AN AXE?!. Next week we cover pp 338-384 (Arya, Eddard, Catelyn, and Eddard).

Direct download: 2011-11-28_BGaS_Episode_21.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:34pm EDT

Ivan & Red cover pp 250-292 (Eddard, Jon, Eddard, Cat). Maester Pycelle does a good job of making himself seem untrustworthy, internal Ned is a genius, Sam Tarley the two-eyed craven weighs in at 280 lbs, the bullheaded bastard makes a bull head, and Cat calls her bannermen just to catch up. Next week we'll be reading pp 293-337 (Sansa, Eddard, Tyrion).

Direct download: 2011-11-21_BGaS_Episode_20.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:39pm EDT

Ivan and Red cover Tyrion, Arya, Daenerys, and Bran (pp 203-249). Tyrion kicks it at the wall, Arya gets her dad to sign her up for dance class, Daenerys learns to ride, and Bran kicks it with Old Nan. Next week we'll be reading 250-292 (Eddard, Jon, Eddard, Cat).

Direct download: 2011-11-14_BGaS_Episode_19.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:54pm EDT

Ivan and Red cover Catelyn, Jon, and Eddard (pp 165-202). We get raving ravens from the Bannermen, The Spider and Littlefinger are introduced, Mimi from a Podcast of Ice and Fire says hey on our Facebook page, Jon keeps digging for an upside to the wall, and Eddard meets his future Eskimo brother. For questions, comments, or criticism, emails us at Next week we'll be reading 203-252.

Direct download: 2011-11-07_BGaS_Episode_18.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:24pm EDT

Ivan and Red *chover* chapters Catelyn, Sansa, Eddard, and Bran (pp 128-164). Catelyn freaks out over Bran, Sansa goes sweet valley high on her dreamy sociopath, Eddard is a Lady killer, and Bran goes on an LSD trip with the 3-eyed crowed of happiness. Send comments, questions, corrections, feedback to @boarsgoreswords on twitter or email

Direct download: 2011-10-31_BGaS_Episode_17.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:26pm EDT

Ivan & Red cover pages 93-127, AKA Jon, Daenerys, Ned, and Tyrion. Shout out to Lydia spoiling a major character death for us. Catelyn shits in inappropriate places, Jon & Tyrion head off to the wall. Eddard Bros out with the Robert. Send us comments, questions, or feedback at @boarsgoreswords on twitter or

Direct download: 2011-10-24_BGaS_Episode_16.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:01pm EDT

Ivan and Red are joined again by comedian Sean Keane as we cover Game of Thrones chapters Catelyn 2, Arya 1, Bran 2, and Tyrion 1 (pp 58-92. Come with us as Catelyn gets naked enough to make Ros blush, Arya establishes her sexual identity, we watch bran lose his grip for five pages, and Tyrion orders breakfast.

Direct download: 2011-10-17_BGaS_Episode_15.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:34am EDT

Ivan and Red cover chapters Daenerys 1, Eddard 1, and Jon 1 (pp 28-57). With Ivan back, R&I summarize the game show as well as emails from the Bannermen. We cover Daenerys youth, Illyrio's creepiness, Khal's Manse, the Stark's Dourness, and Jon's drunkenness. Contact us on twitter at @boarsgoreswords or via email at

Direct download: 2011-10-10_BGaS_Episode_14.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:22pm EDT

Red hosts our first ever Game of Thrones Gameshow at Murphy's Pub in San Francisco. Guest panelists include Ivan, Kelly Anneken, and Ryan Cronin, along with voice and co-writer Adam McLaughlin. We join the gameshow in progress for some GoT hysteria.

Direct download: 2011-10-03_BGaS_Episode_13.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:31pm EDT

Ivan and Red cover the Game of Thrones BOOK prologue and first two chapters (Brand and Catelyn). They also discuss Dinklage winning an emmy, blurbs, the original Zsa Zsa Gabor of the Wall, White Walkers talking, Stark family game night, and more. Intro music is by Judgement Day. Contact us at or on twitter at @boarsgoreswords.

Direct download: 2011-09-26_BGaS_Episode_12.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:52pm EDT

Kelly Anneken is back with Ivan and Red for the Game of Thrones Season 1 re-cap. Hear Red confuse Doc Brown with Doc Holliday, Ivan's haircut,, Drogo's lame death, terrible descriptions of Lord of The Rings, George RR Martin infusing himself into Game of Thrones, pikes always win over swords, Red's Kermit/John C Reilly impression, along with best sex scene, best death, and best dinklage moment. Contact us on twitter at @boarsgoreswords or email us at

Direct download: 2011-09-12_BGaS_Episode_11.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:56am EDT

Ivan and Red cover the final episode of season 1 of Game of Thrones along with guest Lydia Popovich. We cover our first four star review, the pre and post Sean Keane era, Walder vs Frey, Valyrian Steel, Hodor on the GoT reddit, Garfunkel and Oates, Valyrian scissor hands, Sansa's meth problem, Great John and the King of the north. Contact us at @boarsgoreswords or

Direct download: 2011-08-29_BGaS_Episode_10.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:56pm EDT

We're joined this week by a guest who had not seen the climactic end of episode 9 until moments we started recording this episode. Sean Keane is a San Francisco Stand Up comic and he has to face up to some very harsh Westeros realities in this week's podcast. We discuss Westeros' shitty villagers, how children are running the entire world, Barristan's nickname, Trojan Zombies, currency exchange, the most harsh bridge toll ever, and much more. This week's intro music by youtube user steviemac2000.

Direct download: 2011-08-22_BGaS_Episode_9.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

This week Ivan and Red are joined by our first male guest and comedian Daymon Ferguson. The three discuss Dinklage's immortality, the fact that Owls are officially scary, Bronn as an english pop star, George RR Martin on atkins, Arrya taking down chubby boys, Tarley the Dungeon Master, Lord Commander Frowny Face, a correction from off mic, hereditary treason, The Rickon Reel, Vambies, Zompires, and more. Intro by UKpiano on youtube.

Direct download: 2011-08-15_BGaS_Episode_8.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:16pm EDT

This week Ivan and Red discuss THE BANNERMEN, the 3-eyed raven of corrections, Joffrey refusing to raise the debt ceiling, "kneelers", Tyrion jerking off, Dinklage's terrible accent, Tywin Lecter, the oh-so rare double titular line, Littlefinger watching youporn at work, GoT motivational posters (submit yours!), the Golden Cloaks and much more. Comments, questions, and curses should be sent to @boarsgoreswords on twitter or email'd to

Direct download: 2011-08-08_BGaS_Episode_7.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:43pm EDT

Every time Ivan says "comeuppance", it's time to drink. Natasha Muse joins us this episode to discuss Team Pain Spider, Jain Espenson, the feminists of Westeros, our new business venture, further confusion of dogs and wolves, Khal Newman, the greatest joke premise ever told, Petyr Baelish's terrible whispering, everyone struggling to remember Bronn's name, and trial by battle. Check out Natasha's radio show, Too Soon at FCC Free radio. Intro today was by Dan from Digitapp.

Direct download: 2011-08-01_BGaS_Episode_6.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:38am EDT

Ivan and Red cover "The Wolf and The Lion" in the last of the Season 1 GoT episodes directed by Brian Kirk. We're introduced to the Knight of Flowers, some hill people, Varys the big gay cat, giant dragon skulls, and the ultimate attachment parenting. We also cover the shaving of chests and smuckers jam in more depth than was strictly necessary. Intro music is "Learning to Fly" by Arkngthand.

Direct download: 2011-07-25_BGaS_Episode_5.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:08am EDT

This week on Boars, Gore, and Swords we cover Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things with guest Kelly Anneken. We talk about differentiation between Jon Snow/Robb Stark/Theon Greyjoy, Samwell Tarley, the Full Metal Jacket subplot, Viserys's nipple scar, the definition of septum, strong seed, Grand Maester Pycelle's Vaporizer, and much more. Intro by Ramin Djawadi.

Direct download: 2011-07-18_BGaS_Episode_4.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:02pm EDT

In Episode 3 we discuss as little of Joffrey Baratheon as possible. We do manage to discuss Uncle Fester the eunuch, The Giver, Werther's Originals, Full House, and some Italian Stereotypes. Follow us at @boarsgoreswords and email questions and comments to Intro by Jason Yang.

Direct download: 2011-07-11_BGaS_Episode_3.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:28am EDT

Episode 2, in which Ivan and Red discuss:

Intro music is "The King has Arrived" by Arkngthand, a Game of Thrones tribute metal band.

Direct download: 2011-07-04_BGaS_Episode_2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:57pm EDT

1x01: Winter is Coming on Ivan & Red
Discussed herein:
  • Facial Hair!
  • Beheadings!
  • Family lovin!
  • And more!

Art based on work by flickr user Dunechaser, used under Creative Commons license.

Direct download: 2011-06-26_BGaS_Episode_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:24am EDT